Oh, this glamourous life… April 27, 2007Posted by rootie2t in Uncategorized.
That’s me, a Lady Who Lunches. Yeah. PB&J usually. Sometimes leftovers. I have a friend I sometimes have lunch with, and the only food in town that she trusts is at El Sombrero. Since I am the wife of her husband’s boss, I suppose I could pull rank and insist on something a little less cheesy, but I really like her and I’d rather she be comfortable and happy than miserable with a panini.
We finally got around to getting a paper shredder, and I’ve spent the last hour shredding years worth of documents. You know, phone bills from 2002, that sort of thing. That’s certainly glamorous, tho noisy. I think I need a Personal Assistant to do these menial tasks, for as a Lady Who Lunches, my valuable time is better spent at Dillard’s, getting angry that Ralph Lauren only goes up to size 14.
One morning chore (which I frequently “forget”) is to poop scoop on the patio, for our hounds have delicate hienies which are low to the ground and tickled by the (uncut, I must get some gas) grass. So they poo on the patio. Kudos to Pedigree Dog Food, as it makes for hard, easily swept up turds. I wonder if it would work on the kids. Even tho Pedigree is one of the offending advertizers who make out like every kitchen is 900 sq feet and furnished by Restoration Hardware. They make hard poo, and that is good enough for me.
Tonight I am required to entertain the wife of a potential hire. I have to do it tomorrow, as well. I’ve met her before, as her husband worked with SD at a former company, so I know what to expect. Tonight, dinner at the country club, which is a scant 200 yards up the fairway from our house, so SD and I can walk, which means we can also have more than 1 gin and tonic, because the grass is soft on the fairway, and no harm will come from falling over in it.
That’s another thing…it sounds so…I dunno…posh, that we live 200 yards from the clubhouse and our backyard is the fairway of the 10th hole. Believe me, it sounds alot nicer on paper (mixed metaphor, anyone?). It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but our house was built in 1967 and our yard is full of 56 pine trees with drop pinecones year round and frequently hurl branches at the cat. So it’s not like we live in one of these new red brick jobs with the multi-layered roofline and jacuzzi tub. But if you want to imagine that’s how it is, I won’t stop you.
I just realized I should have shredded the paper on the patio. There is a royal mess on the already gross carpet, and the vacuum cleaner is on vacation. Maybe if I spray it with bacon grease the dogs will eat it. Maybe if I spray the whole carpet they’ll clean it. It could work!